A Heavenly Argument
by Tig Oak
Summary: America's former presidents check in on him at the most... Inconvenient time. USUK, but mainly centered around the presidents. T for suggestive themes


Washington, and his two friends, stared in disbelief. The second in the line spoke first, "BLASPHEMY!"  
The other two jumped, and Washington asked Adams of his behavior.

"This boy- This- This-" he could hardly think of words, and suddenly, they all came pouring out in a fury, slight British accent growing stronger as he yelled, "Imbecile! Why I can't believe he would engage in such _debauchery. _And with the very same man we all worked so hard for him to break free from. Washington, my friend, surely you are most upset. You fought the tyrant on the bloody battlefield!" the first president opened his mouth to speak, when the second continued further, "Jefferson you wrote the damned document in which started the entire mess! And now you two are both just standing and watching as little Alfred-"

"Not so little anymore, John-"

"Belt up, Washington! I'm not finished!" Adams glared sternly before continuing, "In bed with such a man. It. It makes me sick. Honestly I may bend over this cloud and puke upon their love-making right at this moment. He's worse than Thomas!" he slapped the taller man in the ribs, "Ridiculous. Disgusting."

After an unappreciative glance from Jefferson, now the other two finally had a chance to speak. Washington nodded slowly, "I am a bit disappointed at America," he watched as America kissed down England's jaw line. Washington was furious, but he wasn't going to say so in the company of the other furious president, "It's his choice."

Jefferson nodded, "Because you didn't do it very often, John, you mustn't be upset at the boy," he said, getting revenge for the earlier statements. Washington held in a snicker as Adams glared.

"…MADISON!" Adams stormed off and the other two barely took another step before Adams was marching back, dragging said man by the forearm. He took him to the edge of the cloud, "Tell me, how do you feel of this image?"

Slowly, Madison's eyes widened as he recognized exactly what was happening, and who it was happening with. He pulled his eyes away as America lifted his lover's shirt, "I…"

"Out with it, man!"

"Stop being so harsh, John, it isn't like we could do anything. Must I remind you that America is very much afraid of ghosts?" Washington inquired, then regretted it when he saw a cool smirk graced the short man's lips.

"That, George, is for another time. Now. Madison, please," he gestured to the bedroom, just as England let out a moan. Madison closed his eyes.

"It goes against all my beliefs."

"Brilliant man! Another on my side!"

Jefferson sighed, squeezing his eyes shut, and now was wishing he didn't want to check on America at this particular moment in time.

Slowly, Adams began to call over more of America's former bosses, and now even Washington was getting peeved at the man's behavior. He could just drop it, but he was so insistent on making sure that every one of America's deceased presidents knew this was happening.

Monroe, after analyzing it for a while, announced he couldn't believe it was happening, that he knew America was a little stupid but nothing like this, and that he wishes never to see anything like this again. But, ended with a short, "At least it's not Canada."

He bid them farewell and was off. Adams loudly called over his son, who sighed and walked over. He looked over the end of the cloud when instructed to. His eyes widened, and he clapped his hand over his mouth, and ran to find somewhere he could throw up in peace.

"My point," the first of the Adams continued. Washington again piped up.

"All right, John. Let's just leave them be-"

"Jackson! Van Buren!"

The two came over at their names being called.

"What is this!" Jackson boomed, and for a moment, Van Buren stared in disbelief. Adams held his hands on the small of his back and his son returned to his side, wiping the corners of his mouth with a handkerchief.

"This is…" Jackson couldn't think of the right word. Van Buren simply stared in awe, before Jackson turned to him and began to strangle him, "WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?"

"Whoa!" Jefferson and Washington tore the two apart and Van Buren stood flapping his arms angrily at Jackson.

"What the bloody hell are you doing! ?"

"What the bloody hell is Alfred doing! ?"

"How the bloody hell should I know! ?"

Both Adams' found their usage of the slang quite amusing as the sixth and seventh presidents walked off arguing.

Harrison wondered what all the arguing was about, and silently walked to the end of the cloud. Upon peeking over, he fainted, and Washington made sure to catch him before he hit his head on anything, although it didn't really matter much anymore.

Tyler had wandered over with Harrison, and instantly his face lit up red at the sight of England removing America's pants.

"This is your fault, you know," the first Adams joked, and Tyler looked over, raising his eyebrows, trying to contain any rage that might spill, "You're the one who gave him Florida."

Washington shook his head at the joke and Jefferson coughed awkwardly. Tyler looked between all of them, "What is the meeting of this? !"

"How should I know? They just…" Adams gestured to them, "It makes me sick."

Harrison had woken up, and Tyler helped him away.

Polk had been watching as England attacked America's collarbone with kisses and nibbles, "That is Oregon, is it not?" Polk had forgotten most of America's body parts with the gain of so much territory.

Adams turned his head away, "How can you watch that, man!" he blared and Polk blinked a few times, then shrugged with a little smile.

"At least it's not Mexico," and he seemingly disappeared.

The next four didn't seem to care as much as they should have, but the cycle broke when Lincoln peered over the edge, "My, my."

Johnson stared next to him, completely red, not knowing what to do.

Lincoln continued, "America's all grown up," he said, nodding.

Adams wondered how he could be so calm about it. Lincoln looked at Adams with his old, wise eyes, and Adams was mystified. How that was even possible, when he himself was so much older than the other man?

"Why are you so upset, John?"

"It's-I-"

"It's that he couldn't get any himself when he was alive," Washington joked and Jefferson snickered.

Loud moans on America's part made them all stop for a moment. Johnson ran.

"It's morally wrong."

Lincoln shook his head, "Clearly, John, they are in love."

Adams sputtered, "That's ludicrous!"

"Speak for yourself, John, but think about the time they are in now. It is not as uncommon as it was back in your time, and even mine."

Adams hated being talked down to like this, both literally and figuratively. He walked around Lincoln.

Lincoln smiled at the other three, "Come, let us leave them alone," he instructed, and lead them away from the edge of the cloud, but none of the quartet failed to hear America moan breathlessly…

"I love you, England."

* * *

A/N: I had to look up some of their personalities, and a few I just couldn't find, so I made them up, eheh.

It got tiring, which is why I only went to Johnson, but I plan on taking Washington/Adam's ghost thing into consideration. I dunno, we'll see ^^


End file.
